Fuck fuck fuck.... When I was coming around from the general anesthetic after my c-section with E at least it was utter rubbish I was speaking. Why then can my brain not choose to witter about Terry Wogan again? Why must it be when it chooses to speak the truth?
I can not believe I stupidly showed nurse G my 'research' on my phone, observations increased again back to 15 mins. :(
Although 15 mins is plenty; look what I nearly achieved in 5 mins on the MBU after I had E.
No half hearted attempts this time though, when I do this it WILL be complete. Not that when I was on the MBU it was a half-hearted attempt, if only they hadn't come back early I wouldn't be here to live through this again.
This is a busier ward though so unlikely that anyone would surprise me here. To be honest I wish I even had the motivation to plan ending my misery. I don't even have the energy to kill myself.
I really am a waste of oxygen. Please God don't let me wake up.
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