RIP me; the old me will never return now and to be honest I'm not even sure I'd want her to. I feel like Geri Halliwell when she did her first solo single video and showed a coffin with the Union Jack draped over and the word 'Ginger' spelled out along the side in flowers.
I remember the old me fondly for the most part; strong, ambitious, focused. All attributes which have drowned in this vast ocean of depression.
Today I have questioned whether the advance statement is worth as much as the paper it is written on let alone the hours I spent agonising over its contents? It seems not. I spent countless hours and infinite energy on that document which was written as a well person to give folks an insight into my personality with a precis of both my life and my experiences of illness.
Maybe I am not ill though? Maybe this IS just my personality? A flawed personality, shaped by my weaknesses and faults?
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