Do I believe in eternal damnation? Yes I do I believe that I will be heading straight to hell for ending my own life and that is what I fully intend on doing. I haven't quite decided the logistics of when (although the date will obviously be an even number) or how but I guess I'm stuck with where given my current incarceration in a psychiatric hospital.
I have a number of methods in mind and I feel quite calm about my decision. I know it is the right one. Steve has had the past 8 weeks to 'trial' single dad life and other than the occasional odd combination of clothing on Eve he seems to be coping pretty bloody well.
So I'm off to hell and I have accepted that, now I appreciate that this may seem odd to you but you don't have to live in my head every waking and many sleeping moments. Tortured; that's me. I used to question what I had done to deserve this but now its the other way round and I wonder what made me ever think that I deserved more than this?
I doubt there will be many more posts from me now though although who knows as given my experiences in the past I really ought to accept how poor I am at suicide.
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